Written in response to reading Meirya’s Beyond Awakening blog on “Finding Home Away From Home” and Ketrino’s “How to Deal with the Yearning”.
For those of us who feel we were not born as the right species, or in the right time period, culture, land, etc., dealing with that feeling of yearning or homesickness can crop up from time to time. After reading the above essays, it got me thinking on how Otherkin can best cope with this longing sensation.
Someone over on the group Animal Quills mentioned the term ‘fernweh’ to describe the longing for home. A German word that literally means “far sickness” or “an ache for the distance” rings true for me. Similarly, ‘sehnsucht’ which Meirya mentions in her essay, is another German word that relates to homesickness but is more a sense of intensely missing something/someplace. I’m sure many Otherkin can relate to both these words/concepts well.
For me it occurs as two different sensations; the first is a longing for a body I no longer possess and the second is for a time/land/culture which I feel wisps of what could be memories for but can no longer be a part of. For the former, sometimes referred to as species dysphoria, that topic is for another essay. This essay is focused more on that desire to go ‘home’ that many Otherkin experience.
I’ve found the best way to combat the longing sensation is to immerse yourself in the memories you do have of home. I’ve found that simply daydreaming about what I think may have been is helpful. Perhaps they are connected to real memories or perhaps not, but imagining what life was like can help make me feel better when missing home.
Try taking something from your past that you remember and either recreate it now or find an object that will either be a good stand in, or is a good duplicate of what you once had. This could be anything from a painting you remember making or seeing and recreating it now, to a toy from your other life’s childhood.
Adding onto the idea of collecting things that remind you of home, looking at pictures of places you believe you knew that are similar to those you remember or images that you feel drawn to will also help. And since the internet is a vast sea of knowledge, one can find pictures of everything from period clothing to landscapes to mythological creatures (or someone could simply create their own!). Immersing yourself in what you believe was around you back home can be a big help in feeling less out of touch with that part of your identity.
Another option which may be available to you is to visit a physical location on this Earth that either resonates strongly with you or is similar to your past home. For me, Ireland seems to call to me. And even though I’ve only ever seen pictures and have never been there (or anywhere near there), it feels like home. Or rather, a close approximation of what home was like to me. Someday, I plan on making a trip there.
For those of Fae leanings, the Celtic lands may be of particular interest. For earth-based animals, the natural environment of your theriotype may help. For dragons perhaps the dark forests of Germany or the light-filled cities of Japan. It all depends on what you identify as and what that creature’s home was like.
Something else that I’ve found works for me is music. Certain types, predictably Celtic music, makes me feel more relaxed and in a mindset to think of home and things related to home. Also, the sound of the waves crashing makes me feel more at home about my aquatic aspect.
Part of my feelings of homesickness is a sadness of never being able to actually go where I believe home was. Of never being able to go back to “the good old days”, etc. And most days, I simply push those feelings down and try to forget that I don’t really belong in this time period or in this human body. But on days where the longing is exceedingly strong, I try to think of things that remind me of those times and the above are some ways I feel better about not being home now.
Originally written March 19, 2012
Feline Instincts 